The other day I was reading a devotional by Elisabeth Elliot. A phrase caught my attention: “Fixity of heart.” She said it has always been a rare thing in history. Fixity of heart is to “stay quietly by the Shepherd.” When life is difficult and confusing, the world offers so many (temporary) solutions. We are attracted to quick fixes and anything that will make us feel better in the moment. How many of us have eaten the entire pan of brownies? Gone on a spontaneous shopping spree? Hid in a movie theater for a double feature? None of these are wrong (OK, maybe the brownies!) in and of themselves but they only postpone the efforts for a real solution.
I would say that I have known “where” to go when I have problems or uncertainties. “Do” I go is the real question! Why do we avoid going to the One who has the answers? Maybe we don't want to listen to the answer....it may not be fast enough! There have been times I have sought the Lord's help and wisdom and He has always given me an answer. Patience is involved in finding or waiting for the answer. Recently, I ask the Lord for a job. I simply prayed that God would show me the right place to work and that it would be apparent it was His doing. I investigated several places, turned in resumes and talked with personnel. I was even told, “You are on the top of the pile, if we hire.” Needless to say, none of them hired me. At a point of confusion, I asked the Lord, “What do I do now? I am a professional and you have gifted me in this area. Do you not want to use me?” I didn't want to accept what came next.
The Lord seemed to answer that He had arranged my circumstances the way He wanted. He wanted me at home which would mean that I homeschool three teenagers. Well he answered my prayer—He showed me where I was to work and it was apparent that He was one doing it! It was not my idea, but it was His plan. I have been out of the Lord's will before and I never want to go back to that place. I didn't understand it but I accepted my new assignment.
Being home has been a joy, a treasure. My teenagers come to me with questions about school, situations with friends, and share with me the things God is teaching them. What more could I desire in the world? In the Lord's plan, He has given me more time with Him. I am able to study scripture, write out unsearchable truths, and read from those who spent their lives following Christ. Thank you Lord for YOUR plan!
Oh how I long for fixity of my heart! There are so many steps in our journey and we need help with each one of them. Each step is a chance for obedience, which Jesus says is love for him. Let's set our hearts on seeking Him, waiting for his answer, and responding YES to whatever he says.
Colossians 3:2-4
1 Peter 1:6-7
John 14:15, 21, 23
